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谁都想做一位好父亲、一位好母亲,可是能真正走进孩子的内心,与孩子无话不谈的父母又有多少呢?2008年1月18日,豆瓣网上创立了一个“父母皆祸害”的小组,这里聚集了一群与父母相处时遭受挫折的年轻人。“祸害”一词看似尖锐,其实并非小组成员蓄意发泄,而是引用了尼克·霍恩比的畅销书《自杀俱乐部》中的一句台词。小组成员主要在此倾诉或反思父母造成的情感伤害和肉体上的创伤,而不是无理抱怨。在现实生活中,父母间的矛盾、争吵,或对孩子的冷漠、逼迫,以及试图掌控孩子的人生等现象比比皆是,对孩子造成了很大的伤害。这种伤害与被伤害、控制和反控制的“斗争”时不时地会发生,它带给我们的不仅仅是对成长的反思,更重要的是反映出家庭教育存在的种种弊端。
Everyone wants to be a good father, a good mother, but can really go into the child’s heart, and children have nothing to talk about the parents and how much? January 18, 2008, Watercress Online created a “ Parents are the scourge of ”group, gathered here a group of young people who suffered setbacks when living with their parents. The term “scourge” looks rather sharp, but it is not the deliberate vent of the team members. Instead, it quotes a line from Nick Hornby’s bestseller Suicide Club. The members of the group talk or reflect mainly on the emotional and physical trauma caused by their parents, rather than unreasonably complaining. In real life, contradictions and quarrels among parents, indifference and persecution of children, and trying to control their children’s lives abound and cause great harm to their children. This kind of injury and harm, control and anti-control “struggle ” happen from time to time, it not only brings us the reflection of growth, but more importantly, it reflects the disadvantages of family education.