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Abstract： In order to make sense of what is said in an interaction， we have to look at various factors which relate to social distance and closeness. Generally， these factors include the specific situation language takes place， the relative status of the two participants， the message being delivered and finally the age of the participants. In this article， the Chinese Politeness Scale， based on Chinese social values and tradition， will be explained and demonstrated in detail.
Key words： Chinese politeness scale； Message； Language
When we talk about Chinese Politeness Scale， the following aspects should be taken into consideration： situation， relationship with the person you are talking to， message and finally age. In the following part， this article will analyze these aspects in great detail.
1. Situation
Language is always used in specific situations. When you speak， the situation or the context should be taken into consideration. The politeness varies according to the degree of formality and emergency of the situation. The degree of politeness should also change according to the situation. In some situations， the language people use should be very formal because it has been a routine and they have just used to do it. In other situations， they don’t have to do it and they have a free choice to use more polite or less polite language. For example， in politics， the language being used is quite different from that being used in daily communication. the language is so different that it has its own name “官话”which means “language spoken by those who are in governing position.” Generally， there are two kinds of situations. The first kind is formal or informal situations. The second is not life-threatening or life-threatening situations.
1.1. formal and informal
In formal situations， more polite language is used and in informal situations， less polite language is used. But there are exceptions. Formal situations include public places， meetings， and classroom environment and so on. Informal situations include family， dormitory， and friend’s apartment. Here just take meeting and family as examples. Meeting plays an important part in the lives of Chinese people. Because china is a group-oriented society， important issues are all decided by the group. So meetings are called for frequently. Besides political conference， we have family meetings which make important decisions for the extended family， class meetings which are held each week or month to select student leaders， like monitor， “three-goods” students， to organize politics studies concerning the newly-made policies， and to decide who can get the scholarship. At meetings， something really bad is also avoided， although everyone may know part of it. The one who speaks the truth will be scolded like this：“知道就行了，为什么非要说出来呢？”Few people dare to speak the dark side of their fellow members or the group as a whole. If they are some mentioning of the bad side， the truth was covered to give everyone a feeling that the situation was not too bad. We made mistakes， but the mistakes can be just neglected or corrected so that they will not have a bad influence on us. Family members always use informal language between each other. For example， the mother may use whatever she likes to call her son. She has a lot of choices， like “儿子”，“淘气”，“宝宝”，“小坏蛋”etc. She can use nicknames too. However， in such a situation， the language can be very formal. It may happen when someone else is at present. For example， when the son’s teacher comes to visit， the mother uses very formal language， always addressing her son as the others do.
In this situation， the way she speaks to my brother is definitely different. My brother is not only her son， but also her guest’s student. Whatever my mother said to my brother should be in the same formal way as what she said to the teacher.
1.2. Not life-threatening &Life-threatening
People speak language consciously， changing the words and sentences according to the certain situations they are in. if they have time， they always try to choose the most appropriate and acceptable language. But in life-threatening situations， they don’t have the time to think it over and make this choice. So they utter whatever happens to come to their mind or just do whatever they can to escape from the danger without saying anything. They always do this by instinct. For example， when my friend and I were heading towards school after having lunch in a crowed street， a motorbike came to our direction and almost hit my friend. In that situation， I saw the motorbike first and just pushed her to the side of the road. I was too shocked to speak anything. Afterwards， I explained what happened seconds ago.
2. Relationship with the person you are talking to
In Chinese， it is very difficult to give a definition to the word “关系”. Its meaning is much broader than the English equivalent “relationship”. Therefore， the Chinese Politeness Scale is greatly influenced by the relationship between the speakers.
2.1. You’re not close & You’re close
If the speakers are very close to each other， like friends， family members， the less polite language is used among them. They use more imperatives and short sentences. If they are not close to each other， they are usually very careful in the way they speak. The language may sound very polite and indicates a distance between the speakers. But there are exceptions. Chinese people are sometimes rude and indifferent to the people they don’t know. For example， people rarely say “sorry” to a passerby when they bump into each other incidentally in the street. Also， I see shop owners shouting at strangers， complaining that the customers waste their time by requesting information of the products without buying anything. This is more often seen in the small shops than the big department stores. There might be two reasons for this. Firstly， Chinese people always think that strangers are insignificant and offending them has little influence on their life. All that they should care is their family， friends， relatives or those who might in some way bring a difference to their life. Secondly， since china is a collective society， members in the same group are strongly attached to each other. They have little connections with the people outside the “circle”， which makes them neglect strangers’ feelings and emotions. This can also explain why Chinese people rely so much on “关系”. They achieve tasks with the help of those they have connections. They call this process“走关系”. If something is difficult to achieve in the regular way ，they may do it by “走走关系”which is powerful enough to change the impossible to the possible. My cousin took part in the College Entrance Examination this year and her score was not very high. It is difficult for her to be enrolled in Ningxia University. Many people advised me to “走走关系”by asking for help from the people I know. The problem is 我没有关系可走. In this society， no one is out of the “关系网”（net of relationships）， since no one is out of contact with the others. 2.2. You have no authority/power/status & You have authority/power/status
If you have authority， power or status， you speak less polite language. On the contrary， you should use more polite words， and avoid offending those who have higher position than you. I used to be the class monitor at college. My best friend joked that I can make a good leader in the future， since I had learnt how to use “官话”when I spoke to my classmates.
3. Message
Language varies according to the message it carries. In Chinese society， taboo topics should be avoided. When they are mentioned， they should be mentioned with great caution. Topics causing the others to lose face should be talked of with extreme politeness. “面子”is as an important word as “关系” is. Any message having a negative effect on the listener should be softened or mitigated.
3.1.Taboo topics & Casual topics
Every society has many taboos. Most of the taboos have a cultural and historical explanation. They usually have their existence since a long time ago.
3.1.1. I n most cases， it is okay to ask someone’s age in china. However， that asking a young lady’s age is impolite can be interpreted as the western influence on Chinese culture. Women want their age to be a secret， since they want to be looking young as possible as they can. Women over thirty are very sensitive of their age. If they are at their twenties， they don’t mind telling the others their age. The old people will be very pleased to tell you their exact age. They think they are lucky to live to the old age which indicates they are good people and not cursed in their life. This is also the reason why great celebrations are held in one’s 70th and 80th birthday by the person’s children and grand children. Such celebrations can be held yearly if the old people are over a certain age. Chinese like using the phrases “寿比南山”，“福如东海” to greet old people.
3.1.2. In Chinese， language related to death should be avoided at all cost in almost all the situations. Since the very words “death” makes people feel afraid and feel sad. Chinese don’t believe in eternal life. They don’t know where they head for after death. We always say “人死如灯灭” which means we will become nothing after death. This expression reveals Chinese people’s fear of death since you have lived on this earth for decades as a human being who eat， drink， think， marry and have children. But after death， you become nothing. Life disappears just like clouds flying away. 3.1.3. You need to avoid directly mentioning one’s parent’s names， even if you are a very good friend of the person’s parents. Calling parents’ names is viewed as great insult to the children. When little kids are mad at each other， they take revenge by calling the names of each other’s parents.
3.1.4. Marital status can be a taboo topic if the person’s marriage is unfortunate or if the person doesn’t get married at the age over thirty. Their remaining single can bring shame to the entire family. The others would not like to marry their daughters to the girl’s brothers since they may think the family has a serious problem. This more likely happens in the rural areas. However， people who are close can always ask each other’s marital status. By doing this they express their concern to you and may be the match-maker， trying to find you an ideal partner.
3.1.5. When mentioning people’s dead relatives， bad things about the person should be avoided. Only those good aspects should be mentioned to recall the sweet memories of their loved ones. The others should forgive whatever the people did when they were still alive.
3.1.6. Serious illness is a taboo topic. The family doesn’t want the others to know this. The experience of past illnesses should also be avoided. The reason of doing this is that they are afraid of being prejudiced and despised.
3.2. Topics causing the others to lose face & Topics saving the other’s face
The face issue is a complicated one in china. In order to save face， people try their best to conceal or cover those bad or unpleasant things. In order to save the others’ face， everyone is very careful with the language they use. In a song by 郑智化，a very famous Taiwanese singer， he wrote something interesting about face. “我给你脸，你不要脸，你真丢脸， 我就翻脸。” In English， it means “I give you face. You don’t want your face. You lose your face. I turn my face.” Those who don’t care about causing the others to lose face have no way to save their own face. In many Chinese universities， students whose families are not rich enough can ask the school for some money to cover their daily expenses. But some students are afraid of doing this although their families are extremely poor. So they have a hard time to make ends meet. In recent years， some college graduates can not find a job. So the government laid down a policy of giving these graduates several hundred Yuan each month to make sure they can satisfy their basic need. But most of the students would rather ask their parents for money than get this money from the government. 3.3. Negative effect on listener softened， mitigated& Positive effect on listener not softened， mitigated
In Chinese， the best way to mitigate the negative effect on the listener is through indirectness. The following example is the conversation between a government leader and a worker.
领导：你认为你们厂长的工作做得怎么样？
工人：不好说。
领导：说，说错了没有关系的，怎么想的就怎么说。
工人：不说好。
领导：说吧，我们也只是做调查，说了不会对你有什么坏处，你说的我们都会保密的。
工人：说不好。
4. Age（You’re younger & You’re older）
Chinese people respect old people a lot. They think old people are a good source of wisdom. When we went to the Liupan Mountain years ago， we got lost. A boy went to an old man asking for information. He said：“老头，六盘山纪念塔的路怎么走？”.The old man became very angry and refused to tell him. Then， a girl went to him and said： “老爷爷，请问您知道去六盘山纪念塔的路吗？我们迷路了。”The old man was very glad to tell the girl on hearing this request and guided us to the monument.
The four categories of Chinese Politeness Scale may overlap in some ways. In a conversation， all the categories or some of them may be detected. Bearing this scale in mind， one can use the language more flexibly and be aware of what is more polite and what is less polite.
References：
1.Erving Goffman： Forms of Talk. University of Pennsylvania Press 1981
2.Jacob Mey： Pragmatics： An Introduction. Blackwell 1933
John Lyons： Semantics. Volume I. Cambridge University Press 1977
3.Penelope Brown AND Stephen Levinson： Politeness： Some Universals of Language Usage. Cambridge University Press 1987
4.Stephen C. Levinson： Pragmatics. Cambridge University Press 1983
Key words： Chinese politeness scale； Message； Language
When we talk about Chinese Politeness Scale， the following aspects should be taken into consideration： situation， relationship with the person you are talking to， message and finally age. In the following part， this article will analyze these aspects in great detail.
1. Situation
Language is always used in specific situations. When you speak， the situation or the context should be taken into consideration. The politeness varies according to the degree of formality and emergency of the situation. The degree of politeness should also change according to the situation. In some situations， the language people use should be very formal because it has been a routine and they have just used to do it. In other situations， they don’t have to do it and they have a free choice to use more polite or less polite language. For example， in politics， the language being used is quite different from that being used in daily communication. the language is so different that it has its own name “官话”which means “language spoken by those who are in governing position.” Generally， there are two kinds of situations. The first kind is formal or informal situations. The second is not life-threatening or life-threatening situations.
1.1. formal and informal
In formal situations， more polite language is used and in informal situations， less polite language is used. But there are exceptions. Formal situations include public places， meetings， and classroom environment and so on. Informal situations include family， dormitory， and friend’s apartment. Here just take meeting and family as examples. Meeting plays an important part in the lives of Chinese people. Because china is a group-oriented society， important issues are all decided by the group. So meetings are called for frequently. Besides political conference， we have family meetings which make important decisions for the extended family， class meetings which are held each week or month to select student leaders， like monitor， “three-goods” students， to organize politics studies concerning the newly-made policies， and to decide who can get the scholarship. At meetings， something really bad is also avoided， although everyone may know part of it. The one who speaks the truth will be scolded like this：“知道就行了，为什么非要说出来呢？”Few people dare to speak the dark side of their fellow members or the group as a whole. If they are some mentioning of the bad side， the truth was covered to give everyone a feeling that the situation was not too bad. We made mistakes， but the mistakes can be just neglected or corrected so that they will not have a bad influence on us. Family members always use informal language between each other. For example， the mother may use whatever she likes to call her son. She has a lot of choices， like “儿子”，“淘气”，“宝宝”，“小坏蛋”etc. She can use nicknames too. However， in such a situation， the language can be very formal. It may happen when someone else is at present. For example， when the son’s teacher comes to visit， the mother uses very formal language， always addressing her son as the others do.
In this situation， the way she speaks to my brother is definitely different. My brother is not only her son， but also her guest’s student. Whatever my mother said to my brother should be in the same formal way as what she said to the teacher.
1.2. Not life-threatening &Life-threatening
People speak language consciously， changing the words and sentences according to the certain situations they are in. if they have time， they always try to choose the most appropriate and acceptable language. But in life-threatening situations， they don’t have the time to think it over and make this choice. So they utter whatever happens to come to their mind or just do whatever they can to escape from the danger without saying anything. They always do this by instinct. For example， when my friend and I were heading towards school after having lunch in a crowed street， a motorbike came to our direction and almost hit my friend. In that situation， I saw the motorbike first and just pushed her to the side of the road. I was too shocked to speak anything. Afterwards， I explained what happened seconds ago.
2. Relationship with the person you are talking to
In Chinese， it is very difficult to give a definition to the word “关系”. Its meaning is much broader than the English equivalent “relationship”. Therefore， the Chinese Politeness Scale is greatly influenced by the relationship between the speakers.
2.1. You’re not close & You’re close
If the speakers are very close to each other， like friends， family members， the less polite language is used among them. They use more imperatives and short sentences. If they are not close to each other， they are usually very careful in the way they speak. The language may sound very polite and indicates a distance between the speakers. But there are exceptions. Chinese people are sometimes rude and indifferent to the people they don’t know. For example， people rarely say “sorry” to a passerby when they bump into each other incidentally in the street. Also， I see shop owners shouting at strangers， complaining that the customers waste their time by requesting information of the products without buying anything. This is more often seen in the small shops than the big department stores. There might be two reasons for this. Firstly， Chinese people always think that strangers are insignificant and offending them has little influence on their life. All that they should care is their family， friends， relatives or those who might in some way bring a difference to their life. Secondly， since china is a collective society， members in the same group are strongly attached to each other. They have little connections with the people outside the “circle”， which makes them neglect strangers’ feelings and emotions. This can also explain why Chinese people rely so much on “关系”. They achieve tasks with the help of those they have connections. They call this process“走关系”. If something is difficult to achieve in the regular way ，they may do it by “走走关系”which is powerful enough to change the impossible to the possible. My cousin took part in the College Entrance Examination this year and her score was not very high. It is difficult for her to be enrolled in Ningxia University. Many people advised me to “走走关系”by asking for help from the people I know. The problem is 我没有关系可走. In this society， no one is out of the “关系网”（net of relationships）， since no one is out of contact with the others. 2.2. You have no authority/power/status & You have authority/power/status
If you have authority， power or status， you speak less polite language. On the contrary， you should use more polite words， and avoid offending those who have higher position than you. I used to be the class monitor at college. My best friend joked that I can make a good leader in the future， since I had learnt how to use “官话”when I spoke to my classmates.
3. Message
Language varies according to the message it carries. In Chinese society， taboo topics should be avoided. When they are mentioned， they should be mentioned with great caution. Topics causing the others to lose face should be talked of with extreme politeness. “面子”is as an important word as “关系” is. Any message having a negative effect on the listener should be softened or mitigated.
3.1.Taboo topics & Casual topics
Every society has many taboos. Most of the taboos have a cultural and historical explanation. They usually have their existence since a long time ago.
3.1.1. I n most cases， it is okay to ask someone’s age in china. However， that asking a young lady’s age is impolite can be interpreted as the western influence on Chinese culture. Women want their age to be a secret， since they want to be looking young as possible as they can. Women over thirty are very sensitive of their age. If they are at their twenties， they don’t mind telling the others their age. The old people will be very pleased to tell you their exact age. They think they are lucky to live to the old age which indicates they are good people and not cursed in their life. This is also the reason why great celebrations are held in one’s 70th and 80th birthday by the person’s children and grand children. Such celebrations can be held yearly if the old people are over a certain age. Chinese like using the phrases “寿比南山”，“福如东海” to greet old people.
3.1.2. In Chinese， language related to death should be avoided at all cost in almost all the situations. Since the very words “death” makes people feel afraid and feel sad. Chinese don’t believe in eternal life. They don’t know where they head for after death. We always say “人死如灯灭” which means we will become nothing after death. This expression reveals Chinese people’s fear of death since you have lived on this earth for decades as a human being who eat， drink， think， marry and have children. But after death， you become nothing. Life disappears just like clouds flying away. 3.1.3. You need to avoid directly mentioning one’s parent’s names， even if you are a very good friend of the person’s parents. Calling parents’ names is viewed as great insult to the children. When little kids are mad at each other， they take revenge by calling the names of each other’s parents.
3.1.4. Marital status can be a taboo topic if the person’s marriage is unfortunate or if the person doesn’t get married at the age over thirty. Their remaining single can bring shame to the entire family. The others would not like to marry their daughters to the girl’s brothers since they may think the family has a serious problem. This more likely happens in the rural areas. However， people who are close can always ask each other’s marital status. By doing this they express their concern to you and may be the match-maker， trying to find you an ideal partner.
3.1.5. When mentioning people’s dead relatives， bad things about the person should be avoided. Only those good aspects should be mentioned to recall the sweet memories of their loved ones. The others should forgive whatever the people did when they were still alive.
3.1.6. Serious illness is a taboo topic. The family doesn’t want the others to know this. The experience of past illnesses should also be avoided. The reason of doing this is that they are afraid of being prejudiced and despised.
3.2. Topics causing the others to lose face & Topics saving the other’s face
The face issue is a complicated one in china. In order to save face， people try their best to conceal or cover those bad or unpleasant things. In order to save the others’ face， everyone is very careful with the language they use. In a song by 郑智化，a very famous Taiwanese singer， he wrote something interesting about face. “我给你脸，你不要脸，你真丢脸， 我就翻脸。” In English， it means “I give you face. You don’t want your face. You lose your face. I turn my face.” Those who don’t care about causing the others to lose face have no way to save their own face. In many Chinese universities， students whose families are not rich enough can ask the school for some money to cover their daily expenses. But some students are afraid of doing this although their families are extremely poor. So they have a hard time to make ends meet. In recent years， some college graduates can not find a job. So the government laid down a policy of giving these graduates several hundred Yuan each month to make sure they can satisfy their basic need. But most of the students would rather ask their parents for money than get this money from the government. 3.3. Negative effect on listener softened， mitigated& Positive effect on listener not softened， mitigated
In Chinese， the best way to mitigate the negative effect on the listener is through indirectness. The following example is the conversation between a government leader and a worker.
领导：你认为你们厂长的工作做得怎么样？
工人：不好说。
领导：说，说错了没有关系的，怎么想的就怎么说。
工人：不说好。
领导：说吧，我们也只是做调查，说了不会对你有什么坏处，你说的我们都会保密的。
工人：说不好。
4. Age（You’re younger & You’re older）
Chinese people respect old people a lot. They think old people are a good source of wisdom. When we went to the Liupan Mountain years ago， we got lost. A boy went to an old man asking for information. He said：“老头，六盘山纪念塔的路怎么走？”.The old man became very angry and refused to tell him. Then， a girl went to him and said： “老爷爷，请问您知道去六盘山纪念塔的路吗？我们迷路了。”The old man was very glad to tell the girl on hearing this request and guided us to the monument.
The four categories of Chinese Politeness Scale may overlap in some ways. In a conversation， all the categories or some of them may be detected. Bearing this scale in mind， one can use the language more flexibly and be aware of what is more polite and what is less polite.
References：
1.Erving Goffman： Forms of Talk. University of Pennsylvania Press 1981
2.Jacob Mey： Pragmatics： An Introduction. Blackwell 1933
John Lyons： Semantics. Volume I. Cambridge University Press 1977
3.Penelope Brown AND Stephen Levinson： Politeness： Some Universals of Language Usage. Cambridge University Press 1987
4.Stephen C. Levinson： Pragmatics. Cambridge University Press 1983