I dream of being a doctor when I grow up. It is like the sun in my heart， encouraging me to study hard at any moment.
　　When I was a little girl， I often fell ill. So my mother was very worried about me and took good care of me， which I can’t forget forever. At first， I was very afraid to see the doctor because I was frightened to receive the injection. Luckily， every time when I went to see the doctor， they were very warm and kind-hearted. They cured for me quite carefully. In addition， they looked after me on their own when my mother was busy. They told nice stories for me when I felt lonely， and so on. So I wasn’t afraid of doctors any more from then on. On the contrary， I lked them very much. They are like the angels in white， looking so beautiful and kind. I think everyone wants to be friends with them because they are very close to us. They can bring us not only health but also warmth. So I want to be a doctor like them when Igrow up.
　　Of course， it is not so easy to be an excellent doctor. It requires me to master much medical and other knowledge. I am working hard to realize my dream at present.
　　
　　【点评】
　　这篇习作小作者生动地描写了她想当一名医生的愿望。在文中详细地写出了她想当一名白衣天使的原因：是因为医生曾经给解除了病痛，在她孤单的时候医生给她带来了心灵的慰藉，娓娓道来，如在眼前。
　　整篇文章在结构上段落层次清晰，首尾呼应简明扼要，全文语气委婉，自然得体。此外以下几点做的比较好：开头的非限定性定语从句运用得恰到好处，语言优美表述准确；其次，文中的句式灵活多样，如： It is + adj. + to do， when引导的时间状语从句的使用等。此外， at first， on the contrary， and so on， not only ... but also等词语的运用，使得全文更加流畅，可以看出小作者对英语语言有了一定的驾驭能力。
　　（指导老师：虞金花）