I…well， I went in search of him again. That is to say， I went in search of every moment I had spent with him. I felt irresistibly（不可抵抗地）drawn to everywhere we had been together the day before， the bench in the casino grounds from which I had made him rise， the gaming hall where I had first seen him—yes， even that den of vice（恶之穴）， just to relive the past once more， only once more. And tomorrow I would go along the Corniche（滨海大道）in a carriage， retracing（追溯）our path， so that every word and gesture would revive（重演）in my mind again—so senseless and childish was my state of confusion. But you must take into account the lightning speed with which these events overwhelmed me—I had felt little more than a single numbing（使失去知覺的）blow， but now， woken too abruptly from that tumult（烦乱，激动）of feeling， I wanted to go back over what I had so fleetingly（短暂地）experienced step by step， relishing it in retrospect（在回顾中享受）by virtue of（借助）that magical self-deception we call memory. Well， some things we either do or do not understand. Perhaps you need a burning heart to comprehend them fully.
　　So I went first to the gaming hall to seek out the table where he had been sitting， and think of his hands among all the others there. I went in： I remembered that I had first seen him at the left-hand table in the second room. Every one of his movements was still clear before my mind’s eye： I could have found his place sleeping-walking， with my eyes closed and my hands outstretched. So I went in and crossed the hall. And then…as I looked at the crowd from the doorway…then something strange happened. There， in the very place where I dreamt of him， there sat—ah， the hallucinations（幻觉）of fever！—there sat the man himself. He looked exactly as he had been yesterday， his eyes fixed on the ball， pale as a ghost—but he it unmistakably was.
　　I was so shocked that I felt as if I must cry out. But I controlled my alarm at this ridiculous vision and closed my eyes. “You’re mad—dreaming—feverish，” I told myself. “It’s impossible. You’re hallucinating. He left half-an-hour ago.” Only then did I open my eyes again. But terribly to relate（认同）， he was still sitting there exactly as he had been sitting just now， in the flesh and unmistakable. I would have known those hands among millions…no， I wasn’t dreaming， he was real. He had not left as he had promised he would， the madman was sitting there， he had taken the money I gave him for his journey and brought it here， to the green table， gambling it on his passion， oblivious of（遗忘的）all else， while I was desperately eating my heart out（伤心欲绝）for him. 　　He had been shouting out loud like a madman， ignoring the hundred or so people around us. They were all staring， whispering， pointing， laughing—other curious onlookers even crowded in from the hall next door. I felt as if my clothes were being torn from my body， leaving me naked before all these prying（窥探的）eyes. “Silence， madame， s’il vous pla？t，”（法语：请）said the croupier in commanding tones， tapping his rake on the table. He meant me， the wretched（讨厌的，可恨的）creature meant me. Humiliated， overcome by shame， I stood before the hissing（發出嘘声）， whispering curious folk like a prostitute（妓女）whose customer has just thrown money at her. Two hundred， three hundred shameless eyes were turned on my face， and then—then， as I turned my gaze evasively（逃避地）aside， overwhelmed by this filthy（肮脏的）deluge（洪水，泛滥）of humiliation and shame， my own eyes met two others， piercing（锐利的）and astonished—it was my cousin looking at me appalled（惊骇地）， her mouth open， one hand raised as if in horror.
　　That struck home（击中要害）； before she could stir or recover from her surprise I stormed（猛冲）out of the hall. I got as far as the bench outside， the same bench on which the gambling addict had collapsed yesterday. I dropped to the hard， pitiless（无情的）wood， as powerless， exhausted and shattered（精疲力竭的）as he had been.