许多小说家在作品中都清楚地说明了这一点,他们在描写笔下人物在最后自杀之前很久,便就已经开始了自我毁灭。本篇无意去像小说家那样着意刻画人物,因为他本人曾就是一位潇洒旷达真实存在的人。当我凝神握笔,注之以情地试图去想办法描述他何以在人生最辉煌时刻却突然要毁灭自己时,文章的开头似乎有点小说的味道…… Many novelists clearly state this in their works, and they describe themselves as long before their last suicide, and they have already begun to self-destruct. This article does not intend to portray characters as novelists, as he himself was once a daring realist. When I hold my pen in my arms and try to find ways to describe why he suddenly destroys himself in the most glorious moments of his life, the beginning of the article seems to be somewhat novel.