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A
Georgie: Teacher, would you scold(批评) someone for something that he didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Georgie: Well that’s good, because I didn’t do my homework.
B
John: What would you say if you saw a ghost(鬼)?
Sue: Not a word, I’d just run!
C
Joe: Do you know how to write?
Flo: Sure, but I never do,because I don’t know how to read!
D
Tod: Why does a stork(鹳) lift only one leg?
Lisa: Because if he lifted the other one,he’d fall down!
E
Sam: How were your exam questions?
Tom: They were easy, but the answers were difficult,so I had much trouble.
F
Little Larry: My mother is furious(发脾气) at me.
Neighbour: Why, Larry?
Little Larry: I didn’t take a bath when she told me to.
Neighbour: How’d she find out you didn’t?
Little Larry: I forgot to wet the soap.
G
Joe: I’m sure my vegetable garden will be a success this year.
Neighbour: How can you tell so soon?
Joe: The chickens have tasted everything and they’vecome back for more.
H
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down on the envelope?
Boy: Because my teacher told me to stamp letters before going to the post office.
注:envelope信封;stamp①贴邮票;②用脚踩踏
I
Jim: You know, Sam spends half his time trying to be witty.
Tim: You might say he’s a half-wit.
注:witty 机智,聪明的;half-wit 笨蛋
J
Johnny: I got a mark of 100 in school today.
Dazzled Dad: That’s great! What in?
Johnny: Forty in reading, forty in spelling and twenty in penmanship!
注:dazzled 迷惑不解的;penmanship 书写
K
Jennifer: Why do you think babies cry so much?
Jonathan: If you didn’t have any hair and all your teeth were out and your legs were so weak you couldn’t stand up, what would you do?
L
Dan: If you had 100 men and I had 1000 men and we had a war,who would win?
Don: I give up.
Dan: I win!You just gave up.
注:give up①放弃;②投降,认输
M
Aaron: I wonder if this milk is fresh.
Caren: Fresh!Three hours ago itwas grass!
N
Bobby: If it takes five men fifteen hours to build a brick wall, how long would it take ten men to build it?
Mary: Why should they build it at all? The five men just did it.
O
Angry librarian: Please be quiet. The people near you can’t read.
Little boy: Why, they ought to be ashamed of themselves. I’ve been able to read since I was six.
P
Big brother: Now I’ll help you with your homework. If you had five apples and I took one away, how many would you have?
Little sister:I don’t know. In my class we do arithmetic with oranges.
Q
Son: What’s a weapon?
Father: It’s something you fight with.
Son: Is Mom your weapon?
R
Barbie: Billy broke my new doll!
Mother: How did he do that?
Barbie: I hit him over the head with it.
S
Housewife to new helper: Hannah, have you given the goldfish fresh water today?
Hannah: No, madam, they haven’t finished the water I gave them yesterday.
T
Rose: I know a word that you always pronounce wrong?
Ralph: That can’t be true. What’s the word?
Rose: Wrong.
注:wrong 可作 pronounce的宾语,也可作宾语的补语。
U
Teacher: What’s the difference between electricity and lightning?
Billy: You don’t have to pay for lightning.
Georgie: Teacher, would you scold(批评) someone for something that he didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Georgie: Well that’s good, because I didn’t do my homework.
B
John: What would you say if you saw a ghost(鬼)?
Sue: Not a word, I’d just run!
C
Joe: Do you know how to write?
Flo: Sure, but I never do,because I don’t know how to read!
D
Tod: Why does a stork(鹳) lift only one leg?
Lisa: Because if he lifted the other one,he’d fall down!
E
Sam: How were your exam questions?
Tom: They were easy, but the answers were difficult,so I had much trouble.
F
Little Larry: My mother is furious(发脾气) at me.
Neighbour: Why, Larry?
Little Larry: I didn’t take a bath when she told me to.
Neighbour: How’d she find out you didn’t?
Little Larry: I forgot to wet the soap.
G
Joe: I’m sure my vegetable garden will be a success this year.
Neighbour: How can you tell so soon?
Joe: The chickens have tasted everything and they’vecome back for more.
H
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down on the envelope?
Boy: Because my teacher told me to stamp letters before going to the post office.
注:envelope信封;stamp①贴邮票;②用脚踩踏
I
Jim: You know, Sam spends half his time trying to be witty.
Tim: You might say he’s a half-wit.
注:witty 机智,聪明的;half-wit 笨蛋
J
Johnny: I got a mark of 100 in school today.
Dazzled Dad: That’s great! What in?
Johnny: Forty in reading, forty in spelling and twenty in penmanship!
注:dazzled 迷惑不解的;penmanship 书写
K
Jennifer: Why do you think babies cry so much?
Jonathan: If you didn’t have any hair and all your teeth were out and your legs were so weak you couldn’t stand up, what would you do?
L
Dan: If you had 100 men and I had 1000 men and we had a war,who would win?
Don: I give up.
Dan: I win!You just gave up.
注:give up①放弃;②投降,认输
M
Aaron: I wonder if this milk is fresh.
Caren: Fresh!Three hours ago itwas grass!
N
Bobby: If it takes five men fifteen hours to build a brick wall, how long would it take ten men to build it?
Mary: Why should they build it at all? The five men just did it.
O
Angry librarian: Please be quiet. The people near you can’t read.
Little boy: Why, they ought to be ashamed of themselves. I’ve been able to read since I was six.
P
Big brother: Now I’ll help you with your homework. If you had five apples and I took one away, how many would you have?
Little sister:I don’t know. In my class we do arithmetic with oranges.
Q
Son: What’s a weapon?
Father: It’s something you fight with.
Son: Is Mom your weapon?
R
Barbie: Billy broke my new doll!
Mother: How did he do that?
Barbie: I hit him over the head with it.
S
Housewife to new helper: Hannah, have you given the goldfish fresh water today?
Hannah: No, madam, they haven’t finished the water I gave them yesterday.
T
Rose: I know a word that you always pronounce wrong?
Ralph: That can’t be true. What’s the word?
Rose: Wrong.
注:wrong 可作 pronounce的宾语,也可作宾语的补语。
U
Teacher: What’s the difference between electricity and lightning?
Billy: You don’t have to pay for lightning.