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假如你叫李华,你的网友张明适应不了紧张的高中学习生活,以至影响学习和信心。请你给他写一封信,谈谈如何缓解压力。
1. 有压力不可怕
2. 寻找正确释放压力的方法
Dear Zhang Ming,
Glad to have received your letter, in which you complained about the great pressure you’re faced with.
Hope my advice would be of some use to you, and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours ever,
Li Hua
注意:1. 词数不少于120;
2. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文流畅;
3. 开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。
参考词汇:释放—release;压力—pressure。
思路点拨
1. 审题 首先根据写作素材,确定体裁、时态、人称及要点。本篇习作考查体裁是书信,开头和结尾的格式已经给出,叙述的主体应该用第二人称和第三人称相结合;至于叙述中使用的时态要结合语境的内容而定,讲述过去的事情用一般过去时,表达建议用一般现在时或一般将来时。
2. 布局 从写作素材看,这篇书信正文部分可根据汉语提示用三个段落分别展开叙述:
第一段引出要讨论的现象或问题:有压力不可怕。此时需要展开合理的想象,说明有压力是正常的;
第二段列举解决问题的方法或建议:提出正确释放压力的方法。此时要注意安排一个过渡句:压力是不可避免的,关键在于我们要寻找释放压力的正确方法。然后展开想象,有条理地提出几条解决的办法。在发挥的时候也要注意字数的限制。
第三段总结前文,表示相信对方一定能够找到合适的方法释放压力。
3. 注意事项 在英语书面表达的写作中要注意做到“信达雅”。“信”,就是要忠实于写作素材的提示,并在必要时展开适度的想象与发挥;“达”,就是表达通畅,无论短句还是长句,首先要保证不会出现表达错误,更不提倡为了写出长句子而出现语法错误;“雅”,说的是表达有文采,这包括不同句式的交替使用,长短结合,用高中词汇代替初中词汇,用短语代替单词等,还包括使用一定的过渡短语。
习作1
Dear Zhang Ming,
Glad to have received your letter, in which you complained about the great pressure you’re faced with.
You don’t afraid if you have pressure. We all have pressure, but none of us should be defeated by it. Because we can’t let it control our lives.
There are many ways to release or let out stress. For example, when we feel stressed, we can take some exercises. Taking exercises can give us good. You can also speak to your friends and parents to release your stress, this is very useful. I once was stressfnl but I passed it after I talked to my parents. There are also many other ways, I’m sure you’ll find them.
If you fight with stress, you will succeed in what you want to do.
Hope my advice would be of some use to you, and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours ever,
Li Hua
點评 本篇习作围绕提示展开叙述,要点齐全并发挥了合理想象,基本完成了写作任务,但文章出现了一些错误或不足。具体表现在:1)文章第一句出现了语法错误,将afraid误用作了动词,正确的表达应该是Please don’t feel afraid if you have pressure;2)文章开头最好用一个长句来表达,把内容表达得更丰满;3)第三句是一个原因状语从句,但没有主句,这里应该把这个从句与第二句连起来变成含有并列句和原因状语从句的复合句;4)第六句出现了表达错误,谓语部分可以用be of benefit to us或do us good;5)写作中要注意,两个各自独立的完整句子不能靠逗号连接在一起,所以第七句this is very useful可改成用which引导的定语从句:which is very useful;6)第八句可以这样来改写:There was a time when I feel a lot of pressure, but the moment I talked to my parents, I felt much better.
习作2
Dear Zhang Ming,
Glad to have received your letter, in which you complained about the great pressure you’re faced with. In my opinion, I feel it natural that we may feel stressed, which we can experience in every stage of our growth. You see, it lives with us all our life.
Now that we can’t be free of stress, the key point is how we should handle it wisely. Actually, there are many things we can do to get rid of it. To begin with, taking exercise is a good way to beat it, which may benefit us physically and mentally. In addition, we’ll feel less stressed if we talk about it openly with our parents or friends, who may come up with some practical suggestions. In a word, you can think of many other ways to manage your stress.
In a word, stress is nothing to be feared but to be conquered, and there’s always a way out if we bother to look for it.
Hope my advice would be of some use to you, and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours ever,
Li Hua
點评 这是一篇优秀细作,作文紧扣写作素材的提示,并有序地发挥想象进行阐述,文章中使用了很多好词好句。具体体现在:1)第一段使用一长一短两个句子说明第一个要点,长句使用了that引导宾语从句,which引导定语从句,it作形式宾语等;2)第三句使用now that引导原因状语从句和how引导表语从句,使用了be free of, handle, wisely这些高级词汇;3)从第四句开始叙述解决压力的办法时,使用了actually, to begin with, in addition, in a word等过渡短语,使叙述显得错落有序;4)第六句是本文最长的一个句子,使用了if引导状语从句和who引导非限制性定语从句,以及come up with等高级短语。
范文
Dear Zhang Ming,
Glad to have received your letter, in which you complained about the great pressure you’re faced with.
It’s all too natural that when we enter senior 3, we may be faced with great pressure. After all, in every stage of our life, we have one kind of pressure or another. Pressure is nothing to be feared but to be conquered. It is up to us to find the correct approach to pressure and handle it wisely.
To begin with, we should strike a balance between our study and relaxation. If we keep the two in good proportion, we can always manage to find the time to relax ourselves, singing songs, going out in the open, or just laughing.
Besides, we can talk out our pressure with our parents, teachers, friends or even classmates. When we speak out our frustration or pressure, we’ll feel much relieved.
In a word, now that pressure is something that lives with us, we should learn to deal with it wisely.
Hope my advice would be of some use to you, and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours ever,
Li Hua
1. 有压力不可怕
2. 寻找正确释放压力的方法
Dear Zhang Ming,
Glad to have received your letter, in which you complained about the great pressure you’re faced with.
Hope my advice would be of some use to you, and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours ever,
Li Hua
注意:1. 词数不少于120;
2. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文流畅;
3. 开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。
参考词汇:释放—release;压力—pressure。
思路点拨
1. 审题 首先根据写作素材,确定体裁、时态、人称及要点。本篇习作考查体裁是书信,开头和结尾的格式已经给出,叙述的主体应该用第二人称和第三人称相结合;至于叙述中使用的时态要结合语境的内容而定,讲述过去的事情用一般过去时,表达建议用一般现在时或一般将来时。
2. 布局 从写作素材看,这篇书信正文部分可根据汉语提示用三个段落分别展开叙述:
第一段引出要讨论的现象或问题:有压力不可怕。此时需要展开合理的想象,说明有压力是正常的;
第二段列举解决问题的方法或建议:提出正确释放压力的方法。此时要注意安排一个过渡句:压力是不可避免的,关键在于我们要寻找释放压力的正确方法。然后展开想象,有条理地提出几条解决的办法。在发挥的时候也要注意字数的限制。
第三段总结前文,表示相信对方一定能够找到合适的方法释放压力。
3. 注意事项 在英语书面表达的写作中要注意做到“信达雅”。“信”,就是要忠实于写作素材的提示,并在必要时展开适度的想象与发挥;“达”,就是表达通畅,无论短句还是长句,首先要保证不会出现表达错误,更不提倡为了写出长句子而出现语法错误;“雅”,说的是表达有文采,这包括不同句式的交替使用,长短结合,用高中词汇代替初中词汇,用短语代替单词等,还包括使用一定的过渡短语。
习作1
Dear Zhang Ming,
Glad to have received your letter, in which you complained about the great pressure you’re faced with.
You don’t afraid if you have pressure. We all have pressure, but none of us should be defeated by it. Because we can’t let it control our lives.
There are many ways to release or let out stress. For example, when we feel stressed, we can take some exercises. Taking exercises can give us good. You can also speak to your friends and parents to release your stress, this is very useful. I once was stressfnl but I passed it after I talked to my parents. There are also many other ways, I’m sure you’ll find them.
If you fight with stress, you will succeed in what you want to do.
Hope my advice would be of some use to you, and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours ever,
Li Hua
點评 本篇习作围绕提示展开叙述,要点齐全并发挥了合理想象,基本完成了写作任务,但文章出现了一些错误或不足。具体表现在:1)文章第一句出现了语法错误,将afraid误用作了动词,正确的表达应该是Please don’t feel afraid if you have pressure;2)文章开头最好用一个长句来表达,把内容表达得更丰满;3)第三句是一个原因状语从句,但没有主句,这里应该把这个从句与第二句连起来变成含有并列句和原因状语从句的复合句;4)第六句出现了表达错误,谓语部分可以用be of benefit to us或do us good;5)写作中要注意,两个各自独立的完整句子不能靠逗号连接在一起,所以第七句this is very useful可改成用which引导的定语从句:which is very useful;6)第八句可以这样来改写:There was a time when I feel a lot of pressure, but the moment I talked to my parents, I felt much better.
习作2
Dear Zhang Ming,
Glad to have received your letter, in which you complained about the great pressure you’re faced with. In my opinion, I feel it natural that we may feel stressed, which we can experience in every stage of our growth. You see, it lives with us all our life.
Now that we can’t be free of stress, the key point is how we should handle it wisely. Actually, there are many things we can do to get rid of it. To begin with, taking exercise is a good way to beat it, which may benefit us physically and mentally. In addition, we’ll feel less stressed if we talk about it openly with our parents or friends, who may come up with some practical suggestions. In a word, you can think of many other ways to manage your stress.
In a word, stress is nothing to be feared but to be conquered, and there’s always a way out if we bother to look for it.
Hope my advice would be of some use to you, and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours ever,
Li Hua
點评 这是一篇优秀细作,作文紧扣写作素材的提示,并有序地发挥想象进行阐述,文章中使用了很多好词好句。具体体现在:1)第一段使用一长一短两个句子说明第一个要点,长句使用了that引导宾语从句,which引导定语从句,it作形式宾语等;2)第三句使用now that引导原因状语从句和how引导表语从句,使用了be free of, handle, wisely这些高级词汇;3)从第四句开始叙述解决压力的办法时,使用了actually, to begin with, in addition, in a word等过渡短语,使叙述显得错落有序;4)第六句是本文最长的一个句子,使用了if引导状语从句和who引导非限制性定语从句,以及come up with等高级短语。
范文
Dear Zhang Ming,
Glad to have received your letter, in which you complained about the great pressure you’re faced with.
It’s all too natural that when we enter senior 3, we may be faced with great pressure. After all, in every stage of our life, we have one kind of pressure or another. Pressure is nothing to be feared but to be conquered. It is up to us to find the correct approach to pressure and handle it wisely.
To begin with, we should strike a balance between our study and relaxation. If we keep the two in good proportion, we can always manage to find the time to relax ourselves, singing songs, going out in the open, or just laughing.
Besides, we can talk out our pressure with our parents, teachers, friends or even classmates. When we speak out our frustration or pressure, we’ll feel much relieved.
In a word, now that pressure is something that lives with us, we should learn to deal with it wisely.
Hope my advice would be of some use to you, and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours ever,
Li Hua