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Hard and confused, adolescence is a transition from childhood to adult stage, struggling from growing pains, teenagers always become more anxious easily.
Many parents consider growing pains as some ridiculous things, for they don’t understand their children’s thought. It is very absurd that parents often forget they also had growing pains when they were still teenagers. Of course, parent’s misunderstanding increase young people’s growing pains. But the major reasons depend on themselves, such as paying too much attention to their appearance. The lack of ability to control their mood usually leads situations to worse ones. As far as I am concerned, it would be better if both parents and teenagers can have more heart-to-heart communication.
As a line in Downtown Abbey says, “Everyone gets pains inside or outside. ” This means growing up.
何灵芝老师点评:
这是高一牛津教材中特别贴近学生生活的一个话题。本人觉得,该文在以下三个方面值得借鉴。其一,小作者逻辑思维严谨:解释成长的烦恼—从家长和孩子两个角度辩证地分析原因—总结升华。寥寥数笔,既把问题阐述得清清楚楚,又综合分析提出建议As far as I am concerned,...。其二,衔接过渡自然,使用了“Of course, But, As far as I am concerned, As a line in Downtown Abbey says”等介词短语、副词和插入语。其三,小作者语言功底好,句式灵活多样。第一句运用了分词作状语,第二句为for引导的并列句,第三句和七句为it句型,最后一句为非限制性定语从句,并且引用了《唐顿庄园》里面的经典语录。
当然,小作者还是可以在用词的准确性方面再下些功夫的。如开头分词作状语的使用不太准确,adolescence意为“青少年期”,“这是一个艰难而且令他们困惑的时期,” 所以confused改为confusing 或者contradictory更好;倒數第三句表达欠地道,建议改为The lack of ability to control their mood usually makes things worse.
Hard and confusing, adolescence is a transition from childhood to adult stage, struggling from growing pains, teenagers always become more anxious easily. Many parents consider growing pains as some ridiculous things, for they don’t understand their children’s thought. It is very absurd that parents often forget they also had growing pains when they were still teenagers. Of course, parent’s misunderstanding increase young people’s growing pains. But the major reasons depend on themselves, such as paying too much attention to their appearance. The lack of ability to control their temperament usually makes things worse. As far as I am concerned, it would be better if both parents and teenagers can have more heart-to-heart communication.
As a line in Downtown Abbey says, “Everyone gets pains inside or outside. ” This means growing up.
Many parents consider growing pains as some ridiculous things, for they don’t understand their children’s thought. It is very absurd that parents often forget they also had growing pains when they were still teenagers. Of course, parent’s misunderstanding increase young people’s growing pains. But the major reasons depend on themselves, such as paying too much attention to their appearance. The lack of ability to control their mood usually leads situations to worse ones. As far as I am concerned, it would be better if both parents and teenagers can have more heart-to-heart communication.
As a line in Downtown Abbey says, “Everyone gets pains inside or outside. ” This means growing up.
何灵芝老师点评:
这是高一牛津教材中特别贴近学生生活的一个话题。本人觉得,该文在以下三个方面值得借鉴。其一,小作者逻辑思维严谨:解释成长的烦恼—从家长和孩子两个角度辩证地分析原因—总结升华。寥寥数笔,既把问题阐述得清清楚楚,又综合分析提出建议As far as I am concerned,...。其二,衔接过渡自然,使用了“Of course, But, As far as I am concerned, As a line in Downtown Abbey says”等介词短语、副词和插入语。其三,小作者语言功底好,句式灵活多样。第一句运用了分词作状语,第二句为for引导的并列句,第三句和七句为it句型,最后一句为非限制性定语从句,并且引用了《唐顿庄园》里面的经典语录。
当然,小作者还是可以在用词的准确性方面再下些功夫的。如开头分词作状语的使用不太准确,adolescence意为“青少年期”,“这是一个艰难而且令他们困惑的时期,” 所以confused改为confusing 或者contradictory更好;倒數第三句表达欠地道,建议改为The lack of ability to control their mood usually makes things worse.
Hard and confusing, adolescence is a transition from childhood to adult stage, struggling from growing pains, teenagers always become more anxious easily. Many parents consider growing pains as some ridiculous things, for they don’t understand their children’s thought. It is very absurd that parents often forget they also had growing pains when they were still teenagers. Of course, parent’s misunderstanding increase young people’s growing pains. But the major reasons depend on themselves, such as paying too much attention to their appearance. The lack of ability to control their temperament usually makes things worse. As far as I am concerned, it would be better if both parents and teenagers can have more heart-to-heart communication.
As a line in Downtown Abbey says, “Everyone gets pains inside or outside. ” This means growing up.